SALAAM BOMBAY!!

India is like a great ocean liner that pitches and rolls precariously but never capsizes as it sails through tempests in which less stable craft would turn.

I do'nt miss things.I never do, I love my country, my people and my family in a way that no one else does. But I do'nt miss them, its an emotional investment that makes me unstable and unproductive.

But last Thursday, every happy, every sad, every naughty, every single memory of India came rushing back to me and I felt overwhelmed.

I do'nt blame anyone or talk about solutions, as I like most people, do'nt know shit about security systems or intelligence agencies. But what I do know is that my people have been killed and have been shown no mercy.Places in Bombay that I frequented, have been scarred forever.

But right now more than anytime else I want to be in Bombay, driving around Marine Drive listening to a AR Rahman track, all the while feeling the refreshing Bombay November breeze.And then end my journey with a Kingfisher at Leopold discussing Rene Descartes with that chick from Lyon.
But more than anything else I just wanted to be back home.

Why I have despised the 'W'?

Unless you are as dumb as this gal, you must have realized by now that the past week has been a historic week. Yes, I finally got some sleep. The pillow, the blanket, the crumbled bed sheet and the cool Seattle breeze.Bliss!!
And yeah, that Obama guy became the new leader of the free world. But sleep, you just cannot beat it!!

But enough about historical world moments that make wrinkled, arthritis-riddled octogenarian, weep with joy at the words of a man he'd never met, on a day he never thought would come. Now, there is something that is really getting my goat;its between v and x and rhymes with sue(thats must be a pain in the ass Arnie,literally!!).

W

George Bush,A bore-fest of movie based on him by Oliver Stone, the Huskies,Waking up on time,getting Wasted far too often and Warren Buffett(just because his name starts with W,otherwise what a man!!)

George Bush and hatred go hand in hand now. Its pretty much a hegemonic discourse to say 'fuck bush' around the world.And you can understand why? I do'nt really want to get all political and start giving sermons in anti-bushism. Instead I will relive a story that took place during the transition period from Bill Clinton to George Bush in 2000.
Basically during this period 8 years back, everyone on Mr Bill Clinton's staff(except Monica ofcourse) decided to give old George a welcoming present.And it was not a beginners guide to English(you cheeky bastards).

No, some of them had the brilliantly ingenious idea to remove all the 'W 'keys from the keyboards inside the White House. And they say there is no humour left on Capitol Hill.

Frankly for me those fine people of randy Bill's staff showed a lot of foresight. I think the 'W' years, as the last 8 years should be called, have been a very dark part of America's history. You could argue that from an administrative point of view, U.S has been asleep (ahh!!).

But,wait for it,CHANGE has come. Or has it? Only time will tell. All I can hope is that I would'nt be pulling the 'O' from my keyboard 4 years down the line.

Roman Tragedy- Do'nt Look Back in Anger?

John Terry summed it up right when he talked about the lack of attitude amongst the players on Tuesday evening at the Stadio Olympico. There is a thin line between complacency and a poor display, the former is unforgivable. And certain players were complacent, were slightly arrogant even and were definitely not up for it(Mikel being the prime offender). Mistakes can happen, but you need to put in the effort to rectify them. But on Tuesday night we did'nt do that.

John Terry alongside Lampard, Carvalho,Essien,Ballack and Makelele (how we still miss him on nights like that) have epitomized the spirit that has driven this team forward, from the best of times and the worst of times, in the last 5 seasons. But on Tuesday, I think if it is safe to say that the presence of even one out the last 4 could have been the difference between 3-1 and 1-1(or even 1-2).

Gabrielle Marcotti mentioned on his blog in The Times,

'Chelsea are almost impossible to judge. How can you evaluate a side without its centre forward (Didier Drogba hasn't started a game since October 1), its (arguably) best midfielder (Michael Essien) and its highest paid "superstar" (Michael Ballack)? The fact of the matter is that we haven't seen Chelsea yet this season. What we have seen is Scolari churning out results despite the absences, which is a crucially important skill. But we still don't know what the "real" Chelsea will look like. And, make no mistake about it, if Chelsea are going to do the Double (or even come close), they will need the "real" Chelsea to show up.'

I think there are two ways of looking at this, first is ,as Marcotti says, that we have despite all odds done brilliantly well to be in the position we are in. A goal difference of 23 and top of the league, and more crucially a 5 point lead over Manchester Utd, a side that has got a crazy number of matches to play in the next 2 months. All this without our first choice 11 is a remarkable feat.

On the other hand I look at this and wonder if this as good as it gets, Drogba's form is no guarantee. And with our widemen looking as ineffective as John McCain's campaign against the bigger teams, you have to wonder where will that penetration needed in the opposition's box will come from.Also our full backs look magnificent, but the more tactically aware teams know how to counter their threat(refer back to the Liverpool and Man Utd. games).


At the end of the day, you can only trust your manager's ability to keep this squad motivated and flexible enough to get through this period of injury trouble. And for me till Essien comes back, I just cannot see Chelsea playing to the best of their ability. It will require great dexterity on Scolari's part to maintain our challenge on all fronts.

But I believe in Chelsea and over the last 5 seasons that belief has reached a point of no return. And I am hoping that when I catch them in London during Christmas, we are in an even better position.

CAREFREE!!

The Clerks 2 by Kevin Smith

A Lacksidasical recommendation:


The Clerks 2 by Kevin Smith

Scorsese uses pure class, Tarantino uses violence,Tim Burton uses haunting imagery and dark overtones,Kubric used pure genius;but Kevin Smith when and if he ever reaches the level of these greats, will be know for the use of the explicitly disgusting.

As is often the case for me before Mondays, insomnia kicked in. After trying a selection of unmentionable measures, I gave up.

I decided instead decided to use the time to go through various movie blogs. 2008 has been a very intriguing year for film industries throughout the world. But here in America its been a particularly weird year.Strikes,financial troubles, good actors quitting or in some case just dying(but not before this).

So I decided to look back a few years, more specifically to 2006. A good year for hollywood, and came across this brilliantly simple movie. Directed by the mundane and explicitly talented Kevin James, The Clerks 2 is everything that makes you love America and its unabashed celebration of individualism.

On first look, The Clerks 2, a sequel to very impressive The Clerks, is another New Jersey stoner story of rags to riches.And the funny thing is thats exactly what it is. But the beauty of cinema is that there are so many aspects to it that even the most cliched of storylines can be made into a work of genius.

Minimum wage,the rat race of job life,religion,Peter Jackson vs George Lucas,friendship,inter species erotica..you name it has everything in it. And the funny thing is that the pure disgust that you might feel at seeing certain parts of the film just evaporates when you realize the underlying themes of the movie.This is typical of Kevin James, a man who recently tried to get a R certificate(it was originally NC-17) for his recently released, queerily titled film.

Above all the movie is intelligent and the pure subtelty of some of the humor really complements the explicit stuff(watch out for the donkey scene, classic Kevin James).

At times it is very cliched and some of the dialogues in the end makes you wonder if a pre-school toddler wrote the ending. But you are still left feeling happy and full of new perceptions about life in general in the end.

Its crass, immature, vulgar, cliched..but subtely illuminating.

The Clerks 2 by Kevin Smith.Watch it if you cannot sleep and need a reason to think.

Anil Kumble.Tribute.

"Kumble was to bowling what Steve Waugh was to batting, not pretty but mighty effective"-BBC 606


Anil Kumble has retired.

In the past 15 years as a devoted fan of the gentlemen's game, Anil Kumble has inspired me the most.

Q.Why ,amongst the tendulkars ,the dravids,the azhars and the gangulys, did this serious looking lad from Bangalore inspire me the most?

A. As amongst all of these talented bunch of greats, it was Anil who was the only legit leader.A fact ,sadly, realized at the end of his career.

I can go on about all his feats and highlights, and believe me I really want to.But I will just mention that sight of him talking to the media after the infamous SGC 2nd test in 2008. It was a moment in history that could have strained India's relationship with Australia forever and even worst, could have bullied us into becoming the scapegoats.

"Only one team is playing in the spirit of the game"-Anil Kumble after the 2nd test

But Anil just sat there; Calm,stern,oozing authority and to be honest he did'nt have to say a word.I just looked at him and knew, it will be all right.

You know the feeling you get when something you have loved and followed your whole life suddenly ends, like the finale of the Sopranos(which was a bit of a let down) or Zizou's final hurrah(which was'nt,fuck you Materazzi);a small part of you just dies.

"As he wiped a tear yesterday, maybe the first tear on a cricket ground, I felt another welling up in a bedroom in another city.

A great competitor, a great cricketer and a great man. And a proud Indian."

Take it away Harsha.

Anil Kumble.Legend.

adios jumbo!!

Scribbles from Seattle

The lacksidasical entries was my little section to share a variety of my interests through different perspectives. But as you can make out from my earlier entries that its been till now just another blue(Chelsea for my non-football loving readers) tinted version of football(soccer for all the Yanks out there).

Its been roughly 5 weeks since I have shifted base from dry and sultry Delhi to cool and precipitating Seattle. From the old age charm to the new age splendor, from a cultural paradox to a cultural melting pot and finally and the most important, from a personal point of view, from a high school immature brat to a college immature brat.Its been quite a transition.

I figured that there was no point in sharing eclectic perspectives till you experience it yourself in person and I believe now that I have, its sharing time!

So Seattle, I will be honest there have been a lot of fucked(yes, there will be profanity on the lacksidasical E., its Seattle baby!!!) up moments. What with

- me leaving my passport in first cab ride I took in the city.
-me leaving my new cell phone in the second cab ride I took in the city(thanks, Shreshth)
- the average Wall Street executive having to make do with $50 million severance packages with $700 billion more on the way.
-me being called a Mexican, a half Brit,a Turkish immigrant and a Norwegian(do'nt ask) amongst many nationalities all because I have an accent which is minutely British.
- Chelsea being still called functional and Arsenal artistic, despite us outplaying those North Londoners aesthetically and tactically in the League( bless you Felipe)
- me still struggling to sleep before 4 in the morning everyday( its 5:33 am as I type this).
-Sarah Palin still being given airtime on TV( might as well put Tina Fey on, atleast scripted line reading is her profession).
-the Huskies continuing their proud losing tradition of recent years( why is everything native to Alaska such a bitch?).
-me making out for the first time since I got here and police messing it up by showing up at the frat.
-the bad light American beer at the same frat.
-me missing 3 out of my first 4 homework assignments due to lack of sleep.
-me watching In Bruges for nth time and wondering why the fuck has'nt anyone seen it in the whole of UW.
-me being stuck on an engineering floor without a single girl.
-me discussing Liverpool FC history with a drunk American who said he did not like football.
-Iceland hitting it with big boys of NATO and even managing to rile the most inscrutable Brit, Gordon Brown
-me being drunk at the aforementioned frat and shouting faggot cops, high fiving every person on the way and running towards the exit.
-me being obsessed with Oasis and Noel Gallagher, so much so that I call him my god now
-me getting an inferiority complex after an elevator ride with UW girls basketball team
-me wasting 60 minutes of my life which I will never recover by listening to a socialist crazy lady from Lebanon screaming her guts out.(even the free muffins they enticed me with were rubbish)
-nobody in Seattle giving a damn about grunge music and the legacy of Curt 'cocaine' Cobain.
-me leaving my dorm keys in the third cab ride I took in the city.


I guess despite all the fucked up moments, I tend to realize that I have learned more in these 5 weeks then I did the whole of last year that I took off after school.And as I in sit my dorm sipping fine Czech beer(happy birthday Marnix!!) and seeing In Bruges again, I just lie back and enjoy this fucked up yet strangely illuminating journey.

Welcome Back Ray!!

Welcome Back Ray!!

Now I do not know about all of you but having Ray Wilikins at the Bridge is great for all Chelsea fans from the past and I am definitely one of them.Last time I saw him at the bridge was with Ruud Guillit, making some sexy football for the King's Road's faithful.So take it awayBarney Ronay of the Guardian

Forza Chelsea!!

I Saw Claude Grace the Bridge!!

I thought it would never happen, it was 2003 when we pulled off the signing of the decade. When we signed Makelele, the man who made Zidane and 2 times Champions League winners Real Madrid tick.

It bought a smile to my face and more than any signing that summer (except maybe Crespo) made me feel like permanently shifting base to London, just for watching this man play.

There is something about defending which enthralls me. The pure simplicity and refinement that defines a good defensive player gives me a fuzzy feeling. And when you add the class and graft of a Maka, then well…. pure ecstasy (makes sex look primitive)!!


Maka was one of a kind; his sense of discipline and his reading of space were perfect.Sure he took one season to get in the groove, but once he did we were unbeatable.He was a modern day version of Beckenbauer and someone whose influence in our title winning seasons was 2nd to none.


A lot has been written about Claude and his playing style.
So I will just mention this one instance that for me defines Claude Makelele.

Most Chelsea fans remember Maka’s goal against Charlton or Sp*rs.
But for me it was this one time when we played Everton and Andy Johnson managed to stay onside and break away towards goal. Maka as usual saw him and followed him; he had no chance of catching a striker known for his pace. So, what Maka does do? He just jumps on Johnson and completely puts him off balance. Somehow avoiding the referee’s eye, in a way only he can. But the ref still spots him and gives a free kick. Maka picks himself up and shows his sparkling 32. Everyone (even Graham Poll) knew it was a red card offense, but the ref lets him off with a yellow. Maka was probably lucky, but he will tell you that we kept a clean sheet.


I wish that Claude would have stayed and ended his career here.
But you don’t get everything in life,
But still
I Saw Claude Grace the Bridge!!

A Chelsea Legend!!

Carefree!!

Dignity Above All


So the EURO is over. The right team has won; the final sips of beer have been taken (at least till 16/08/2008) and all the hoohah! about international football’s slow death have been squashed till England’s next defeat.


And meanwhile we have had big players and not so big players forcing their club’s hands and showing what he have known for a long time, loyalty in club football is an extinct entity.


What Gareth Barry is doing to Aston Villa? What C Ronaldo is doing to Man Utd? Or what Didi Drogba has been doing since the turn of the year to our club? It makes me sick.


The problem is not the fact that they want to move or that they want more money.
I am not an idealist and do not expect players to stay forever or be humble with their money.And quite frankly it is being abused every season.

But the facts that they are ready to stab their clubs, whose badges they have kissed and whose fans they have made promises to. The fact that they are ready to stab their clubs whose coaches and managers have honed and chiseled their talents and made them the household names that they are. The facts that they stab those clubs who have spent multimillion pounds paying their wages and helping them grow as players and human beings.


There has to be a more civil and proper way of doing things. Make demands if you have to, but do it in a manner in which the club and we fans do not feel embarrassed in calling you their player.


Look at Gareth Barry, a player whose career has been resurrected by Martin O’Neil and his rejuvenation process at Aston Villa. He was on course to joining Pompey on the cheap in MO’N’s first season, but they kept him and made him the no. 1 choice in the English midfield.


This is the same guy who now has the nerve to say that O’Neil has made errors and that he should have been convincing him to say instead of being on holiday. You see my point.


As, Matt Dickinson in his column in the Times said ‘I always had Gareth Barry down as a straight guy, a decent footballer, a humble team man, the sort you want to see succeed. Silly me’.


Then you have the case of Ronaldo. He is a nasty piece of work; the only thing I like about him is the fact that the guy does work hard. But in his conduct off the field, what a cretin!!! Sir Alex deserved better and Real Madrid deserved worse.


Then you look at our own Drogba, Adebyor or Hleb, each one of them has forced their club’s hands. Even the likes of Michael Carrick and Franck Ribery acted in the same manner, during their big moves.


Even our own Franky Lampard, its true he has not left us till now. But he is the same guy who on the day when we won the FA Cup final, held the club’s badge and said that he would never leave us. So what he does when the club gives him a deal, which would have made him the 2nd highest earner at our club, rejects it. Why? Well apparently he wanted a longer deal. He wanted a 4-year deal, so he wanted Chelsea to change their new philosophy, of awarding above 30 players only 2-year deals with an option of 1 year extension. The same guy, who swore loyalty to the club, now wants it to go against its philosophy.


At least Ronaldo signed a new contract for United so if he does go, it’ll be a huge financial gain for United which is more than can be said for the reported 9million euros we’ll have got for Frank. At the end of the day, we always knew and more importantly, Lampard always knew that if he left his contract until this point, Chelsea would lose millions in the event of his departure. I just fail to see how any supporter can see that as a sign of a player who really cares about his club or finds it acceptable.


Look maybe I expect too much. Maybe that’s how the dynamics of football work, as Arsene Wenger said ‘transfer fees are irrelevant now, players can start demanding new contracts or moves within 2 seasons at a new club’.


I am all for player empowerment, but only within a certain moral standing.